On December 22nd 2011, the cell door slammed shut, leaving me with only a shadow of myself. There I stood in front of that cold faint light in clothing carved from canvas, clutching my head and preparing myself for what would be the hardest, inescapable cage fight of my life. I was arrested and locked in a jail cell during what was "the worst" of my long time addiction to heroin. My body and soul had been taken over by the demons I myself had created. These demons did not hesitate to keep me fearful of the coming pain and withdrawal. They took over my thoughts and filled them with desperation, pain, suffering, and hopelessness. Little did I know that I already had in my clutches one of the most powerful demon fighting weapons available. As I let go of everything I thought I knew about life... the grip on this weapon started to tighten. Even as my body weakened, the weapon grew stronger. Being stripped of what I thought was everything, allowed for me to have complete trust in this weapon. My weapon is the light of change through trusting the god of my understanding. And after 16 days of fighting, that light of change which I kept so close to my heart had allowed me to have a profound spiritual awakening. In that moment, I knew I wanted to live a better life, but what I had yet to realize was how much purpose my new life would began to have.
Then on the 18th of May 2012, on bail and after 28 days of intensive rehab, I was released into the public to begin a new life. A new attitude of gratitude, the love and support from my family and a healthy addiction to working out, became "the mortar" in the foundation for me to be able to remain clean and sober, and to be able to do it one day at a time. My mind and body had been stripped of all its demons… so what remained was a very raw, very vulnerable, very open wound. I choose life, and in order for that wound to heal into a beautiful scar, I continue to be mindful of every single thought, every single decision and every single move I make.